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going at it for hours and no rest [14 Jul 2007|06:31pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | horror show--birthday massacre ]

oh hello dusty old livejournal.

seeing as i updated about a month ago, i will surely forget several important things that have happened. damn. i should write in here more.

let's start in the beginning of july. jews everywhere. they are needy and complain a lot and want fifty blankets. some of them wander around in bathrobes and even less at two in the afternoon while you are trying to clean the bathrooms. some offer you delicious soup. some forget how to walk in the cafeteria line and you make holocaust jokes under your breath. most of them are wonderful people. don't believe my bitching.

after that comes christ in youth aka everything i hate about youth group rolled into one week long clusterfuck. a whole bunch of teenagers who like to roam the campus to have "devotional groups", desperate boys with "free hugs!" signs, and a whole lot of hormones that are being unnaturally suppressed by jesus.

i don't like them. i'm sure they're wonderful kids full of good morals and strong christian overtones, but it was an irritating week. now they're gone and abwe (something baptist women?) is coming in.

but seriously, this can't be that interesting. on to more exciting things in daniel's life.

on july 3rd, we drove three hours to a phantom fireworks outlet store and bought about 150$ worth of fireworks. on july 4th we had way too many people come out to the sex fields. public safety showed up and we had to make a run for it, but we found other places and celebrated god's great country properly. fuck yeah.

went down to chris' at some point and had an exciting time not getting almost caught loitering at valley elementary after dark.

other news/daniel's new "reviews of things" section:

the new harry potter movie is pretty sweet. seeing as i didn't like the book that much, the movie does a good job of cutting out a good bit of harry's whining. dumbledore vs voldermort is pretty sweet. transformers is awesome for those who like giant robots fighting other giant robots in highly populated metropolitan areas.

and this deserves a seperate paragraph: i finally saw deathnote, and i was rather impressed. i remember a remark made by chris to the tune of "how much plot can a book that kills people generate?" the answer is a good bit. first, the characters are awesome as they're NOT the sterotypical "oh, i'm just an average joe with an incredible story." the protagonist and antagonist are both like supergeniuses who are awesome at manipulating people and spinning impressive webs of lies. some bits of it are a bit unrealistic, but overall it's quite engaging and so fast-paced (which is a relief to say the least when compared to bleach and naruto, aka "let's take fifteen fucking episodes to have a single battle because we have to show every body's backstory and have plenty of flashbacks and dialogue when all you, the viewer, wants to see is people beating the shit out of each other.") you miss an episode of deathnote, you are lost.

k. i'm going to get my drink on.

Light a torch

going back to theifery [16 Jun 2007|01:31pm]
[ mood | meh ]
[ music | letting the cables sleep--bush ]

so.

everybody should read "war music" by christopher logue. it's a re-interpretation of the iliad and written as if homer was a free-verse modern poet. it's pretty much genius.

i have done very little at work this entire week.

except read lots of books.

the nibelungenlied is a pretty dumb epic poem. everybody dies. the end.

this update brought to you by minimalist news inc. when you have three seconds to get all the news of the day, turn to minimalist news inc.

Light a torch

see now through sepia and worn cracks [29 May 2007|09:23pm]
[ mood | complacent ]
[ music | stalker--the pillows ]

right now i have:

1. the pillows playing
2. a mug of hot green tea
3. a group of guys playing lord of the rings risk
4. exciting plans for the weekend and weekend after
5. no work on friday

i. am. so. chill.

wow, the first part of this post has been quite groundbreaking in punctuation.

i love working here over the summer. i've met tons of exciting people that i kind of half-knew before and was always like "hey, we should hang out more" but never really could. i've read three books in the last four days, books that i've always kinda been like "hey, i shoudl read you" but never really did. i started running (parkour) to get back in shape like i was during wrestling.l

so basically, it's like all those goals that i have always had to push deep back in my brain to make room for busywork and college things are finding new space. they are getting a breath of fresh air. they are finally seeing the light.

now i just have to stop waking up at six every morning and life is basically perfect. and i need to learn how to bartend. and go skydiving. then i'm done.

1 crazed torch-weilding rebel| Light a torch

and i said "why does it all seem subjective?" [15 May 2007|01:01pm]
[ mood | drained ]
[ music | apocalyptica ]

i'm done.

yesterday after my last real final (the modern american literature exam from HELL) laura and i walked down the train tracks to a neat little spot. there was a waterfall and an old railroad bridge that apparently is still in use. i felt like i was walking into an indie movie. we dangled our legs over the stream and talked for a long time. it was pretty much the best thing i've done in a while.

last night i was up till three with brice, liz, and laura. we were watching movies and lying around like a bunch of kittens. then i had to get up at seven for my presentation in social psychology which required me to double-click on a movie file. it was slightly ridiculous and i was mad that i had to wake up so early for it. so i wore my glasses, wore what i could find lying around, messed up my hair real well like a real bed-ridden college student would. after my presentation i sat in the cafeteria for about two and half hours. it was mad cold and i drank three cups of hot green tea to warm me up, along with various snacks and sandwiches.

i feel very surreal right now. i think it started with that railroad bridge and me picturing us walking back on the tracks on a long dolly shot while our conversation runs quiet in the background. like any moment i will blink and an entire camera crew comes rushing from the trees, hits me with a wash of light, the cameras click on and i find my self drenched in technicolor and bleach exposure.

or maybe i should just take a nap.

Light a torch

escape from burning ilium [04 May 2007|04:17pm]
[ mood | anxious ]
[ music | kellot--apocalyptica ]

the week from hell is over. phew.

seriously, last week was crazy. most days i was gone from nine (or earlier) until dinnertime, after which i locked myself in the library because i had to write papers. and i still have to fill out twelve different forms for various and sundry things like my honors project, summer mail, extensions of staying, another honors project (for the honors program, not the registrar. it's a bit ridiculous.) seriously, i need more ranks in bureaucracy.

but now that the week is over, i've got copious free time. unlike most people, i actually like finals week because it's so laid back and i can watch all sorts of movies and anime and such for a whole week. anyways, recap of exciting things i've been up to.

the muse concert was pretty amazing. apparently i had done my math wrong when i told my dad to pick me up at two from college because i got to merriweather post at five, two hours before the concert. so we sat around (my parents and i) and i told them about my epic poem and what i planned on doing with it and how it related to all these different themes of epic poetry blah blah blah. it was slightly awkward because mom kept asking question about this "rock" concert and she seemed rather worried. i told chris i felt kind of bad because i really wasn't going to any kind of dangerous concert--it's muse for crying out loud. if i was going to see, oh i don't know, almost anybody else i listen to, then mom might have a reason for worrying about me. but no. muse=not dangerous. seriously, most of the people there were like fourteen. i could have stepped on them and crushed them into a little emo pancake.

anyways, muse was amazing. they played BOTH starlight and stockholm syndrome. my chemical romance was okay i guess. the second half was cool when they played their old stuff. anyways, the concert ended and we drove back to catholic and everyone fell asleep on the way back. chris and i wandered and talked mad intelligent during a thunderstorm and fell asleep early because we were pretty tired. i left the next morning around eleven, got back to messiah around 2.

last night i went to see spiderman 3. it's fun. i don't want to do a movie review because i feel that too many people do "movie review" journals and frankly i could care less what you, anonymous person on the internet who's probably morbidly obese and pirated the movie from your friend who works in the film industry because you can't get your ass out of the computer chair, thinks about x movie. you'd think that when all the newspapers rejected your weekly movie column it was a sign, but you were relentless. oh no, we've all got to be subjected to YOUR perception of what makes a good movie, because i trust a five hundred pound tub of whale blubber more than my own inclinations. go buy a nordic track.

other minor excitements in daniel's life: we started an improv club which will probably die out in a few days when we get bored of it. last night at dinner we talked all in three-word sentences. i got so fed up with my book for darwin and darwinism i stabbed it twice. i just bought a smutload of anime from adv's golden week sale. today is no pants day. tomorrow brian regan comes to messiah. tomorrow is also national make out day. duct tape war is four days away.

Light a torch

oh fuck off, grasshopper [24 Apr 2007|07:21pm]
[ mood | busy ]
[ music | hypnotised--paul oakenfold ]

go. see. hot. fuzz. now.

greatest movie ever? it's up there. seriously.

as for other things, i hate my darwin and darwinism class. seriously, how many times can we read the same freaking arguments over and over again? is reading about the goddamn bacteria flagellum again really going to change anything? no, it's the same argument stated in almost the same words as the last twelve essays we've read for that damn class!

grr. it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't such a hard-ass on busywork. twat.

on the opposite spectrum of things, in the last three weeks, i've been to my advanced writing class once. allow me to rant. the class is called "advanced writing" which means, at least, that we will be writing in it and the writing will be of a somewhat "advanced" quality. so, i should at least assume that i will have to write more/better than my previous writing classes i have had at messiah college. reality: i have written two essays for my advanced writing class. the first was about zombies, the second about postmodernism. they have each been four pages, and written in about one night (maybe two hours on each). compare that to my creative writing class, where we wrote upwards of five, six short stories and a few poems. or my poetry workshop, where we wrote a poem every week. i'm not mad because the class is "easy" because i have twelve other essays to write, mostly for darwin (fucker). i'm mad because this class is required for the english major and frankly it's a load of shit. i got more from my studies in comp class. hell, i got more from my fucking ninth grade english class.

fuck this. i am so done with this semester. i want it to be reading day already so i can crush someone's face with cardboard. no, i want it to be friday. muse? hell, yes.

2 crazed torch-weilding rebels| Light a torch

flung [14 Apr 2007|03:59am]
[ mood | content ]
[ music | i think i can--the pillows ]

it absolutely is the simple things.

tonight was spring fling, which is usually kind of sad because it's not sketchy enough for me and too sketchy for everyone else. here i am, where every dance i've been to in high school was of the bump 'n grind variety and then i get to messiah and suddenly everyone is leaving room for jesus so you're dancing with your date who's halfway across the dance floor. it is kind of sad.

it's gotten better in the past few years. last year they had the dance in the whitaker science cetner, so you could goof around with the science exhibits if you didn't like dancing. there were issues with air conditioning and such, but they fixed that this year.

anyways, the dance. the dance itself was pretty cool, we got to geek out in the electronica room and watched an imax in 3D, but afterwards was what was the best. there was a massive massive jam out of the parking garage when we left, so we said screw waiting in line and we hiked to the top of the parking garage and smoked. simple thing number one. a cigarette eleven stories up at one in the morning.

afterwards, the jam hadn't died down yet so we played mafia with two other cars until we started moving, but we weren't done so we went to the diner (about fourteen of us) and sat around chatting. i drank about five cups of coffee, which was simple thing two. coffee when you're getting a little drowsy and it picks you right up and you can feel it soak into your veins.

so we stayed at the diner for a while, then came home. it's four in the morning and we're all running empty but we're still laughing, all five of us jammed in this little car and i just looked around and said "damn, i really wouldn't wish to be anywhere else right now. this, this, this."

i didn't actually say that but it was in my head.

simple thing number three: the flcl soundtrack at four in the morning. mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...i should get to sleep. but not quite yet.

2 crazed torch-weilding rebels| Light a torch

professional tagonist [11 Apr 2007|10:23pm]
[ mood | tired ]
[ music | face to face--daft punk ]

so life has been terribly exciting. i may or may not be completely lying. here's some high points: (yes i'm a thief)

-i put in an application for departmental honors, which would mean that instead of sitting through an honors seminar about politics, i would be working with an english professor on a project of my choosing (40+ pages) throughout the year and then present it to the faculty and students. i told them i wanted to write an epic. they have yet to get back to me.

-i have an apartment for next year. it's at the farthest edge of campus, but that means it's secluded and nobody will bother us. meaning we will probably have a balcony and a cat. i need names. best so far is faust.

-my roomies for next year (2) are both libertarians. we want to do a cyberpunk themed apartment.

-we had a booksale and i bought three huge books of constitutional law to cut out the middle and store stuff in.

-everyone should read snow crash. but you probably have, as it's one of those books that everyone except for me has read. except that i read it.

-spring fling is this friday. next weekend is the swing dance. the weekend after that is muse. good, better, best.

-i went home for easter and spent the entire time with the family. about twelve different people called me and i had to turn them down because we had to entertain people all of saturday and sunday. i am sorry, i would have loved to hang out. sad face.

-we are choosing anime for next semester, and our choices are ergo proxy, le chevalier d'eon, ouran high school host club, gankutsuou, chrono crusade, and some robot anime. it is going to rock. and i'm going to try to make some of the more exciting ones come to conventions. maybe ausa. maybe parachute.

-and various sundries. i should really update this on a more regular basis so i can stop these long bulleted lists that sum up my previous life in precise taglines, as it's really degrading to my self-esteem. my whole life fits on a little yellow floppy. sigh...

so yeah, that's it. work is slowly looming overhead like a cave ceiling and i keep glancing upwards to see it descend slowly, but i'm okay for now. give me a week or so...ok, i have to write an essay. who doesn't. question mark.

2 crazed torch-weilding rebels| Light a torch

respite from hugh selwyn mauberly [21 Mar 2007|07:43pm]
[ mood | bored ]
[ music | new beginnings--finch ]

here i am, halfway through spring break (is it? i think so). woohoo.

i told myself that i wouldn't have another boring spring break at home. nope, i stocked up my laptop with downloaded games and movies and anime to watch over vacation so i wouldn't just sit around and be boring.

yeah, that worked out. two of my games refuse to run and th other one is so slow it's just irritating, i finished all my anime on monday, so i've been sitting around, sleeping tweleve hours a day and watching russell play battlefront II the other twelve. i guess i really shouldn't complain because i know it's better than having to do work, which is what i'd be doing at college. meh.

break started off cool. i went down to cua with lorraine and christopher and had a exciting st patty's day party with christopher's anime club, who are pretty much the coolest people on the planet. we witnessed the value of sensible shoes, couldn't find any corned beef, had a delicious artisan lunch and got slightly weirded out/sung to in a safeway. it was mad exciting.

ummm, i thought i had more to talk about, seeing how i haven't updated in like a month. apparently not. woohoo. back to work, then.

Light a torch

for the archives [27 Feb 2007|10:37pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]
[ music | straight to video (kmfdm mix)--mindless self indulgence ]

so apparently the last time i wrote something was valentines day and much has happened between now and then. excitement. not really.

katsucon was pretty amazing. it took forever for me to get down to the con because there was miscommunication between the parentals and i. long story short, i thought i would be leaving messiah around 2 but didnt actually leave until around 6. picked up a few things from the house, and dad drove me down to katsucon because it was probably quicker than taking the metro. so i arrived sometime around 9 and easily found the room, which was probably bigger than all the con room i have stayed in put together. then i went and met all of chris' anime club one after another. seriously, i stood in one spot for about half an hour and they all filed past. after that there was some raveage, some rumage (not rummage) and plenty of fun. got to bed around three.

woke up around 9? and wandered around the con with chris for a little bit. checked out the dealer's room, where i got a sweet zombie t-shirt, and peeked in the amv contest. then we went back to get into costumes, but chris had drama with eyeliner. so basically, i was the only one who cosplayed, and most of it was thrown together in the half an hour i was at home. seriously, i was packing up my ichigo costume and thought "hey, i could do an injured ichigo. do we have any white bedsheets?" and we did. note: it's a lot harder than it looks to wrap yourself up in bandages. you'd think it'd be easy, but you're wrong.

anyways, i wandered around as ichigo, which was a little odd. odd in that i only saw one other ichigo the whole convention and he didnt have his sword. i wonder if there was some sort of anti-large weapon policy katsucon had enforced, in which case i brokened the law.

anyways, eventually chris and i went and did a photoshoot in the garden after cruising past a guard talking to someone else about how people shouldn't be doing photoshoots in the garden. my feet froze because i only had socks on, but the pictures are pretty cool.

anyways, changed back and went to the violent garden with chris, where we had a long discussion about why it was called such, as there was neither garden nor violet in the restaurant.

after that things kinda fall apart. there was drama with lack of store hours in a local liquor store and we had to resort to desperate measures, but in the end it worked out. and by in the end i mean around three in the morning. meanwhile, i had an amazing conversation with meg, hid from drama couples, discussed people dying on the metro, and probably answered the question "where is everybody?" about twelve different times. oh, we also went to the sketchy porn panel. now i know if i ever shoot porn in my hotel room, i should make sure the bed is bolted down first. words to live by.

after that, there was smoke on the balcony and adrienne being scary and free pocky and some horribly predictive anime at six in the morning. crashed, woke up at 11, packed and headed out. chilled at the house for a while then drove back to messiah.

between then and now (two weeks?) it's been pretty cool. i'm somehow running a d&d campaign that's not d&d but superheroes. i'm also directing a zombie film. saw my cool england friend perform at his college, which was cool. found le chevalier d'eon online and downloaded up to episode 14. helped organize the annual miller rave which went off last saturday. we set off the smoke alarm within twenty minutes, but after that it was cool. not as fun as katsu raves, mostly because it wasn't sketchy enough. sigh. i'll probably dj it next year because the other guy is a senior. other than that, life is exciting. still can't believe february is almost over.

2 crazed torch-weilding rebels| Light a torch

[15 Feb 2007|12:07am]
[ mood | sleepy ]
[ music | magic hours--explosions in the sky ]

best day ever. pretty much hands down.

first, messiah closed due to an act of god. namely, almost a foot of snow, two inches of ice, and then another few inches of snow to make the roads death-traps. i first woke up to see that messiah had been delayed until 12:40, so i went back to sleep, woke up at 11 and saw that they closed the whole school down. so apparently messiah closes for other things than the rapture.

so, snow day. went to lunch with my friends, and guess what was on the tv? a freaking car chase. yes, a real one. some woman had hijacked--of all things--a uhaul and was being chased by all these cops. it lasted for like ten minutes before she stopped and the cops got her. but while this was going on, everyone in the cafeteria was all standing up and watching, and when she started running, everyone cheered. pretty nifty, if you ask me.

so ya. after lunch, we went and played settlers of catan with six people, which is always an adventure. i had to leave early to go to work, where i folded crap for like ten minutes and then slept for the rest of the time. came back, did some work, went to dinner. which was lobster. and filet mignon. yes, real lobster, and real filet mignon. pretty good stuff too. as one of my friends put it "it's like food at a really nice wedding. it's tasty, but you know they've got to make a whole bunch of it, so it's not as good if they were just cooking one plate of it." they also had cherries in some brandy sauce which you were supposed to pour over ice cream. i found the presence of alcohol there quite amusing, dry campus and all.

after dinner, we all bundled up and went sledding over on cemetery hill, which is pretty much the perfect sledding hill. it's tall and steep, but not so steep you break your neck. of course we had to be poor college students and use cardboard boxes we scavenged as sleds, but thats what we call resourcefulness. then we started doing tandem bobsled runs, then trios, and eventually fit nine of us into one sled contraption thing and sent it down the hill. yes, it was slightly dangerous. but wicked fun.

we went to the union afterwards and got hot chocolate, sat around listening to the band tune up and play a bit. we eventually kind of dissipated, with some going off to dm a one-shot, others to do work, and so on. i came back to the room, studied a bit for my quiz tomorrow, then watched some mst3k with andrew.

overall, an excellent day. seriously, it's day like that you look up and say, "damn, my life is pretty much awesome right now. i am so ridiculously glad to have all these friends to hang out with all day." something ripped right out of a great american novel. pretty crazy.

Light a torch

classy [07 Feb 2007|08:06pm]
[ music | film--aphex twin ]

why is it that a single bible class requires more books and busy work than all my other classes put together? it's just ridiculous.

anyways, here's how my classes stack up:

M-W-F schedule

10:20-11:20 Darwin and Darwinism
Expectations: One of my favorite classes so far. We spent most of today bashing the creation story of Genesis and how it contradicts itself twenty times in three chapters. I might even get to read Dawkins. I'm a bit afraid of being lynched, but it's fun. I'm surprised how many people don't understand the theory of evolution.

11:30-12:30 Social Psychology
Expectations: Easy as pie. The professor is so laid back and chill, we watch lots of movies like old-school Candid Camera. Book costs an arm and a leg though.

12:40-1:40 Modern American Literature
Expectations: Probably my favorite class right now. Most of it's review so far, as I spent most of last semester studying Modern literature, but it's fun. We're spending a week on The Waste Land. And our final project is to make a wiki.

T-R Schedule
8-9:30 Advanced Writing
Expectations: I would like this class more if it wasn't at eight in the morning. I thought it would be another essay-writing class, but we get to do some creative writing as well. The prof is hare-brained and making us do community service for a grade (in a writing class? what the crap?) but it should be interesting. Textbook is dumb.

10:45-12:15 Poetical and Wisdom Literature
Expectations: This is a wildcard. There's a heavy dose of busy work outside of class i.e. for next class, pick some poetical phrases out of the Bible, read your favorite Psalm, bring a sample of music to class, read these chapters and answer these questions, write about what you think poetry is, etc. Yes, that's actually my homework. Thing is, he doesn't grade any of this. So, fuck that. Our final project is a "wisdom collection" which sounds like amazing fun. It's basically everything we've come to grips with in life, where this comes from, etc. Mine will be fun. Also, my prof is on amphetamines. And the books are dumb, but you probably figured that.

so that's my schedule. fun.

Light a torch

cogito [04 Feb 2007|01:03pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]
[ music | jesus nitelite--eve 6 ]

daniel's past three days by the numbers:

1 complete anime series: ergo proxy
6 episodes of the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya
5 james bond movies
3 real meals
1:00 average wake-up time
5 other movies not james bond
2 MST3K movies
1 music folder mostly cleaned up
4 hours on average to change out of my pajamas
1 student union roof climbed

so, as you can see, i've...um...been busy.

i made a little peace with post-modernism this weekend, mostly when i was watching ergo proxy. i was chris about this and he agrees (actually, he was the one who brought it up, but oh well): ergo proxy references a lot of different classical pieces of art and philosophical ideals, making it a "smart person" anime. so i was thinking, this bringing in of different references and outside materials, that's what post-modernism is. a collage of where we have been, where we came from, all mish-mashed in some art form. so that's not really what i have a problem with. indeed, how could i, because i do that all the time. but here's where i break away. post-modernism would then go on to say that this new art form is something alien from its creator, something born from the experience of culture and society and therefore not the creator's at all. whoever created it is completely removed from its creation. which is bullshit. remove the writer from the story? can't be done. if you do, the story will crumble.

which reminds me. watch ergo proxy. i was a bit skeptical at first, as i thought it was like witch hunter robin with demons, then more like last exile, then...i don't know. evangelion maybe. it's a bit slow in the beginning, but the ending is fantastic. i shall be pondering this one for a long time.

ok, washing's done. got to go get my pants.

1 crazed torch-weilding rebel| Light a torch

rise from your grave [23 Jan 2007|04:14pm]
[ music | engel--rammstein ]

holy crap i'm not dead. yaay.

i've been spending the last few weeks getting readjusted to life here at messiah, enjoying being around all my friends again, lamenting several things i can no longer do legally, making plans for spring, causing trouble, and dealing with an odd tonsil infection. it's interesting.

i'm rooming with my friend matt who i lived with all last summer, and we get along pretty amazingly. which is odd, because we're kinda different. he writes screenplays, i write novels. he watches sci-fi, i watch anime. i listen to industrial, he listens to indie. meh. our room is quickly becoming the hangout point for my circle of geeky d&d friends, and on any given night we have at least two other people hanging around, sometimes up to four or five. which is a major difference from my room last year, when nobody ever hung out in our room. it's fun.

what's not fun is my class for j-term. for the non-informed, i'm taking intro to christian theology, which is terrible fun. as in, slightly painful. theology as a whole will put off many faithful, so you can imagine an atheist trying to argue theological implications of jesus' divinity (it doesn't really matter). here's the thing about it: i never feel like i'm under attack, which is what i worried about coming into it. what irritate me is the ignorance and teaching style of my professors. my class is taught by two professors: a tag-team husband and wife team. which, i guess, is okay, but here's where it gets screwy. they constantly go off on these tangents about "when we first met, i bought her a dozen roses and we took a boat ride" "oh, you" "you're so silly" "tee-hee!" these people are like seventy, and while i'm sure their love is quite sweet, it's rather sickening in the classroom. then the guy goes off on these stories about why he doesn't like his wife's father, and she kinda glares at him, and then he tells another story that really doesn't have a point but makes him look like romeo. like i told one of my friends: "they'd be real interesting as like grandparents, but not as theology professors."

oh, and they sing. a lot. and keep attendance. and have "small group discussion" which is nowhere near fun.

anyways, that's j-term. one week left, and then i'm done.

as for other matters, i am making well on my new year's resolution to be more mischevious. i can't say much more about it, but it involves zombies and communist propaganda. not at the same time, those are two different pranks. oh no, i've been compromised!

*jumps out the window*

2 crazed torch-weilding rebels| Light a torch

phriday [05 Jan 2007|01:26pm]
[ mood | excited ]
[ music | another planet--pendulum ]

yesterday i spent the entire day in my bathrobe and didn't even notice it until dinnertime. it was pretty glorious.

in other news, my headphone jack is screwed up and only plays correctly in one certain position. the problem was that i was listening to a dnb playlist when it first went out and i didn't notice it for several minutes thinking, "oh, this is an interesting remix."

also, i think i might have hooked my dad on bleach. go me.

and i'm gettign my hair cut today.

and then talking with chris.

and watching waking life.

and i'm going back to messiah in two days.

awesome.

Light a torch

me eat page! [01 Jan 2007|06:38am]
[ music | mitternacht--e nomine ]

i apologize in advance for the length of this post. i like to talk, especially on reflections.

I have already addressed philosophical musings and such, which I felt deserved their own post last night. Also, I was in an odd mood last night and felt like writing something but didn't feel like it making any semblence of sense. I was writing my epic, then stopped and waxed eloquent online instead. Anyways. Let's wrap up 2006 for real this time.

2006 was fantastic. I sum it up in one word: England. Here's why, as blunt as I can make it.

I spent maybe a week with the girl I am madly in love with in 2006. In spring, she went to England. In fall, I went to England. We have horrible communication in that regard. I spent a day with her over the summer and a few days before school started and that was it. Now, I'm going back to school and for the first time in a year she will be there as well. Don't give me any advice because I don't want it. I am all butterflies.

Besides that, England means a million other things that I have absorbed in my life. Atheism, fashionable dress, a zeal for learning, actually discussing things in class, pub life--these things have found their way into how I live. One of my friends who was staying in England for a year asked me why I was going back to Messiah when I loved it so much in England. "Because I have to," I said, "because I have to show them how I have changed."

I have never been more exicted in my life for class to start again. I cannot wait to see all my Messiah friends again, to climb on the roofs of Eisenhower and Boyer again, to go train hopping over a weekend, to climb a water tower as the sun is setting, to rearrange the letters of MESSIAH COLLEGE to HELLO SCAM. To embrace serious conversation, to raise my hand in class, to read all those philosophical books I've heard so much about. To swing dance again, to laugh with all my anime club friends, to steal food from Lottie. To see Jenni again.

2006 was a year of fixing things and figuring them out. 2007 will most likely rock my world, but I'm ready for it. And now for the survey. I love this thing.

1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? A million things. Travel in Europe, drink legally, smoke, try absinthe, top Boyer, cry profusely.
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I resolved to take better care of myself. I'm not sure how much a wreck I was in '05, but I think I kept it. I didn't post in my journal every week though.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No.
4. Did anyone close to you die? Mrs. Needham.
5. What countries did you visit? England, Ireland, Italy, Germany.
6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? A girlfriend.
7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? September 14th. The day we flew to England.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Being accepted to England, getting something published in the Minnemingo
9. What was your biggest failure? failing to act, failing to see the beauty of talking
10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I caught a bad case of fresher's flu in England.
11. What was the best thing you bought? My lappy
12. Whose behavior merited celebration? no idea. everyone whose behaviour didn't appall or depress me.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed? chris because he was emoing, steph because she is falling apart
14. Where did most of your money go? travelling, the conversion of dollars to pounds.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? otakon, england, coming back from england
16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2006? Farewell--Apocalyptica, Starlight--Muse. A lot of other bands that are tied to England. The Kooks, Explosions in the Sky, Vast, Eve 6, Third Eye Blind.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? about the same
iii. richer or poorer? poorer
18. What do you wish you'd done more of? talk
19. What do you wish you'd done less of? sitting around feeling sorry for myself
20. How did you spending Christmas? at home, chilling
21. What have you learned about yourself in 2006? A million things. See above, yesterday's post, etc.
22. Did you fall in love in 2006? No, it was actually back in 2004.
23. How many one-night stands? Lost count...
24. What was your favorite TV program? The Office, MAN VS WILD! And a generous smattering of animes.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? I don't like hating people. So no.
26. What was the best book you read? The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins
27. What was your greatest musical discovery? indie rock, progressive rock, british rock. things normal people don't listen to.
28. What did you want and get? to go to england.
29. What did you want and not get? to go to england with jenni.
30. What was your favorite film of this year? hmm. probably little miss sunshine because it made me cry on the plane. i didn't watch that many movies this year.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 20, went to a club and got pissed, danced like crazy with a bunch of cool kids.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? jenni
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? t-shirts and pants. moving toward british fashion, with the occasional lazy day consisting of me wandering around in pajamas, bathrobe, and slippers.
34. What kept you sane? music. i was going to say writing but i don't do much theraputic writing. it usually turns out shit anyways.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jenna fischer (pam) from the office. she's adorable. and bear grylls from man vs wild. that man is my hero.
36. What political issue stirred you the most? seperation of church and state, libertarianism
37. Who did you miss? take a wild guess
38. Who was the best new person you met? will fucking secrist. that boy is a god.
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: see last long philosophical post.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: I have two:
"Lay off the Kafka, and the coffee, and the coughing / Lay off the means to the ends and mean what you say more often" Eve 6--Still Here Waiting
"I just wanted to hold you in my arms" Muse--Starlight

PLACES:
1) PLACE YOU HUNG OUT THE MOST IN THIS YEAR: my room
2) FAVORITE NEW PLACE YOU DISCOVERED: rooftops
3) PLACES YOU WENT ON DATES: i don't really go on dates
4) FAVORITE VACATION SPOT FOR THE YEAR: otakon, england
5) PLACES YOU MADE OUT IN (OR MORE) THIS YEAR: my room, the athletic fields, the sex fields (no)

PEOPLE:

1) PERSON WHO TAUGHT YOU ALOT THIS YEAR: will secrist
2) AN OLD FRIEND YOU REDISCOVERED THIS YEAR: matt, my roomate for summer and this spring. that whole group actually (my film major friends)
3) PERSON WHO TOLD YOU THE NICEST THING ABOUT YOURSELF: will. he called me "the superior writer"
4) PERSON WHO DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR YOU (AND WHAT): will for lending me "the god delusion" and being a great person to have a pint with.
5) PERSON YOU SPENT THE MOST TIME WITH THIS YEAR: myself. and brice.
6) PERSON YOU DID SOMETHING REALLY GREAT FOR (AND WHAT): i like to think i helped a lot of different people, but i don't really know.
7) SOMEONE YOU WISHED YOU TALKED TO THIS YEAR: jenni
8) SOMEONE WHOM YOU STARTED A GREAT NEW FRIENDSHIP WITH THIS YEAR: brandon and josiah and doug. my other english peeps. kids from the summer. i met tons of awesome people.
9) OLD ENEMY/S YOU MADE PEACE WITH THIS YEAR: um, i can't think of any old enemies i have. unless there's something somebody's not telling me. oh, eric. i don't think he feels threatened by me anymore. long story.
10) SOMEONE YOU LOST THIS YEAR: "lost" as in died or just stopped talking to? i haven't spoken to sarah in forever, which is sad because she's adorable.
11) PERSON/S YOU KISSED THIS YEAR: lots
12) PERSON WHO MADE YOU LAUGH THE MOST: my friends are hilarious. paige, mandy, matt, brice and laura, all the english types...i laugh easily. this question is unfair.
13) PERSON WHO MADE YOU CRY: jenni, but that's my own fault
14) PERSON YOU USED TO LIKE, THEN DISLIKED WHEN THE YEAR BEGAN BUT ENDED UP BECOMING GOOD FRIENDS WITH: rose marie i guess. this question is dumb.
15) PERSON YOU CRUSHED ON THE ENTIRE YEAR: hmmm guess.
16) SOMEONE YOU WISHED YOU APOLOGIZED TO: kayleigh
17) PEOPLE YOU WENT OUT ON DATES WITH: no dates. unhappy face.
18) FRIENDS YOU WENT OUT WITH ALOT: depends on what we're doing. brice and laura for roofing, kat, rachel, soph, james, edd, mark, steph, kayleigh, brandon, doug, and adam for clubs, doug, brandon, josiah, and will for pubs.
19) COOLEST PERSON YOU MET THIS YEAR: will secrist.

STUFF:
1) CLOTHING ITEM YOU WORE THE MOST THIS YEAR: my shoes.
2) NICEST PRESENT YOU GOT THIS YEAR: GUILD WARS NIGHTFALL. I AM IN WITHDRAWAL.
3) FAVORITE SONG FOR THE YEAR: Farewell by Apocalyptica. Didn't they ask this question already?
4) COOLEST EVENT OF THE YEAR: define "event". probably otakon, even though it was kind of shitty this year.
5) NEW HOBBY YOU PICKED UP THIS YEAR: playing Warcraft mods, bartending
6) BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR: The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins.
7) BEST MOVIE: Little Miss Sunshine. Can't think of anything else.
8) MOST SHOCKING NEWS HEADLINE OF THE YEAR: Um, nothing sticks out.
9) FAVORITE FOOD FOR THE YEAR: British things. Bangers and mash. Slow Roasted Lamb with Morrocan Spices potato crisps. Soup. Guinness. Kronenburg. Bratwursts. Gelati. Real Italian pasta and pizza. Savoury Cheese on a White Bap. Blackcurrant juice. Tea. Coffee. I can go on.
10) FAVORITE NEW ARTIST THAT CAME OUT THIS YEAR: i don't think i listen to much 'recent' stuff.


LESSONS:
1) WISEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: go to england
2)STUPIDEST THING YOU DID THIS YEAR: keeping my thoughts to myself
3) BIGGEST CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE THIS YEAR: see rants
4) BIGGEST CHALLENGE OF THE YEAR: absence
5) SOMETHING YOU LEARNED THE HARD WAY: do NOT sleep in an airport. it sucks.
6) GREATEST LESSON YOU LEARNED THIS YEAR ABOUT LIFE: see rants
7) BEST JOKE YOU'VE HEARD ALL YEAR: "Abraham Lincoln once said, 'If you are a racist, I will attack you with the North.'"
8) BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT OF THE YEAR: otakon
9) BIGGEST BLESSING OF THE YEAR: atheism
10) BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT THE WORLD: see rant
11) BIGGEST THING YOU DISCOVERED ABOUT PEOPLE IN GENERAL: they're fairly good people deep down. usually. i hope. see rant.

1. Will you be looking for a new job? Maybe. I liked working at Messiah over the summer, but if I do it again I'm aiming for a second shift (read: sleep in) and living with everyone else. And I hoe to get published. I'm going to talk to Matt Roth about it.

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship? Yes. In case you couldn't tell.

3. New house? I'm living on the second floor of Miller for spring semester. Next fall I'll probably be in an apartment with some awesome kids.

4. What will you do different in 07? Lots of changes. Assertiveness. Talking more. Reading more.

5. New Years resolution? To pull more pranks, lead a more exciting life.

6. What will you not be doing in 07? Moping.

7. Any trips planned? No. I am broke.

8. Wedding plans? My sister's getting married. That's exciting.

9. Major thing on your calendar? July 7th, that's my sister's wedding. Besides that, January 9th, I go back to school, Katsucon and Otakon as always, Spet 18th I turn 21, fuckers!

10. What can't you wait for? Being 21, going back to school. Isn't this kind of like the last question?

11. What would you like to see happen differently? I wish people were more responsible. I wish the government wasn't almost completely fucked up. I wish people had some common sense and kept an open mind. See rant, which seems to be my new tagline.

12. What about yourself will you be changing? Lots. See above, rant, etc.

13. What happened in 06 that you didn't think would ever happen? I topped Boyer, smoked a cigarette and kind of liked it (no, i'm not going to turn into a smoker anytime soon)

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about? Sure, I'm pretty nice to them already

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 06? Yes. Hooray for quirky British fashion! Ties and scarves and layers and collared shirts!

16. Will you start or quit drinking? Start! Socially, though. NOt so big on the falling-down-what-the-fuck-happened-last-night-dear-god-i-had-sex-with-a-guy drinking scene.

17. Will you better your relationship with your family? I already have an amazing relationship with my family, but since I'm getting a brother in law i guess so.

18. Will you do charity work? i say i will, but never really do...

19. Will you go to bars? eventually i might...if i find some nice ones

20. Will you be nice to people you don't know? no, i'll kill them on sight. i hate new friends.

21. Do you expect 07 to be a good year for you? I'm really not sure, but I'm excited about that.

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now? SEE RANT

23. Do you plan on having a child? ha ha, no.

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? Probably. I like friends. They are pretty much my world.

25. Major lifestyle changes? A new appreciation of life, life in the moment, humor and philosophical ponderings. rant.

26. Will you be moving? Not very far. To Messiah.

27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 07 that happened in 06? I won't keep my mouth shut about important things. I wont' put off important things for a better time.

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight? No.

30. One wish for 07? I wish things work out.

holy fuck that ate your page. i apologize. i always love doing these things...they're fun to look back on and wonder why you would ever write some of the shit you do for these questions...it's a real movement of time. enough musings. here's to 2006, and to you, 2007. woo hoo.

Light a torch

long-winded [31 Dec 2006|06:07am]
[ mood | nostalgic ]
[ music | apocalyptica ]

This will most likely be long, complicated, twisty-turny, make no/little sense to anybody else, bloody, and possibly piss off several many peoples. A lovely look back at 2006, because I want to do it now before New Year's. After Jan 1st is a time for looking ahead, before is the time to get weepy-eyed and nostalgic. Onwards.

2006 was, overall, pretty fucking amazing. I say this mostly because it was dominated by England. I just spent the last hour or so trying to pick out my five favorite songs of 2006 and pretty much all of them have to do with England. It's only natural, because I mark England as a major point of enlightenment that I am still grappling with the consequences of.

For those that missed the post I wrote about a month ago, I confessed to myself my atheism that I've been trying to downplay and write-off as other things. My favorite was when I convinced myself I could believe in God like I believe in a perfect writing form, a form which transcends words, which looking back really makes no sense. But anyways, atheism. A wonderful thing. A tricky thing, because it means that a lot of things that I've been raised up with in a Christian house have to be thrown out the window, some with glee, and some with me still hanging on in some way. Here's what I've been thinking about recently, just so you know: I do not have a "soul". I probably do not have a "mind" as philosophers would call it. I am dangerously close to post-modernism in my ethics. I should be opposed to the death penalty. I define human as a sentient being. Sex is perfectly natural and the idea of waiting for marriage horrendously outdated. In the same vein, your sex life is your own, and other people's theirs. Fuck off. Life is much too short, but I'm still not sure if I would take immortality if it was offered. Many people lack common sense. I am horribly sickened by small talk. I may believe in a right to exist for all sentient beings, but a few people deserve to die horrible deaths. Religion sickens and intrigues me. I remember why I became a philosophy minor. I want to read old dead people. I have ridicolously flexible morals. I like and dislike that fact. People spent to much time on pointless shit.

And so on. It's been a wild roller-coaster of thought that's pretty much been going non-stop for about two months now. I really hope this doesn't sound like I'm a pompous philosophical thinker-ass, because I've been doing all other sorts of things as well that don't really deal with the large metaphysical questions in life and such.

The only problem is, with my complicated and unhealthy obsession with contemplation and discussion, I am getting sick of people. In England, there were four of us guys who met for "Pub Night" in which we hit up one of the local pubs and sat for four plus hours drinking pints and talking about everything from five albums you should listen to before you die to how religion has infiltrated government policies. It was amazing. Between the atmosphere, the title of hushed exicted voices, a bartender drawling in Cockney in the background, a cold Guinness or John Smith or Lowenbrau pressed in your hand, it was magical. We were an odd bunch: two atheists, three Christians; two English majors, a politics major, a business major, and a film/communication major; a Libertarian, a Green, and three moderates who fall neither party. We were eclectic, we were perfect.

I am afraid I am becoming nihilistic. Maybe it's just my being back here in Jefferson. I always go into this slump when I'm here. When I was in England, I said "I want to see my family" but it was a "I want to see them here, in England, at their best. Not be stuck at the house with them for three weeks." I am sick of my brother, sick of my mother, not sick of my father yet because he treats me like a twenty-year old. I feel as if this place still clings to high-school ideals, this obsession with ignorance and shallow lifestyles that mean shit in the end. I want to slap several people across the face, ask them if they listen to half the stuff that they drone on about. I wish people would realize that they've lived a forth of their life already and if they died now they would be forgotten in a hundred years. I wish people would be real again. I wish they would shut up. I wish more people would write, and I wish less people would write. I wish I wasn't so goddamned paradoxical. I wish my words wouldn't fail me now.

Talk to me, please. I'm trying this new thing called being real. If you ask me if I am an atheist, even if you are my mother, I will say yes because it is the truth. I say that we are all struggling through life together and it doesn't do us as humanity one fucking lick of good if we spend the whole time lying to each other. Those who bemoan why life sucks so much, it's probably because you keep lying to everyone and pissing them off. Of course, they won't tell you, because they want to be happy, but they still want to get back, so they'll lie and tell stories about you as well. Fucking humanity, that's what we are. Sick, sick little puppeteers. Blah, blah, I was never a good preacher.

Another thing: I am amazed by how much you can bend the societal norm and people still will not care. Like in Fight Club, how hard it is to start a fight with somebody. People might think you're crazy, but they won't say it. They'll just laugh quietly, edge a little farther away from on as they pass by. Fuck society.

I feel bad for everyone who's struggled through all this text. I apologize if it sounds like I'm targeting you, because I'm probably not. Sure, some of the comments are a bit more pointed towards certain people and problems I have with them, but not all of them read this journal and I kind of like it that way. And the remarks that are pointed at people, I can think of other people who fit the bill as well. You just happened to come to mind while I was writing it. There are others like you. I'm sorry if I sound elitist, pompous, or holier-than-thou in any way. My writing isn't quite up to snuff right now for some odd reason which results in stylistic phrases that are slightly more stinging and over-the-top than I actually believe. I am constantly changing and thinking and re-ordering beliefs and such, so I may have entirely convinced myself otherwise of something that you took offense to. The main idea was this: 2006 was possibly the most enlighting, most life changing, most thought provoking year I have lived through. I know what I have to do in 2007, I face it happily (a little scared) and ready. This is life at its finest. Standing tall, mind clear, face towards the rising sun. I can conquer what lies between with my two hands, the hands of others. I have an amazing family; I have amazing friends. My friends are my family, my family are my friends. Onward, I say, onward to 2007 and what it holds. I am so very excited.

Light a torch

[10 Dec 2006|10:25pm]
[ mood | fuck you, homework ]
[ music | sad happy--cold ]

mostly because i feel like if i have to write another word about the duality of caribbean literature i will nuke the whole goddamned island chain back into the gulf of mexico:

first lines of my first entry of each month

January: so my new year's resolution (in part) is to start updating my lj at a more regular interval.
February: i would just like to say that subversive texts has completely and utterly renewed my faith in english literature.
March: so it seems like i keep posting entries about fun and crazy stuff while everyone else is posting about life, the universe, and generally important serious stuff.
April: se we definitely ran the routine for swing about eleventy billion tomies tonight...which is eleventy billion minus one more times than it actually needed to be ran...and threw in a whole bunch of last minute little things (like, snap on the kick-throughs) but i'm feeling pretty good.
May: you know those mornings when you wake up with the most irrational fear EVER?
June: my computer flipped me off yesterday and decided to break its power supply.
July: so my nice regular schedule is breaking down.
August: seeing how it's been a good eleventy billion days since i last updated, this may be long.
September: our isp provider is horrible and thinks that my journal update page, my friend's page, one of my friend's blogs, and so on, is all pornography.
October: so last night we were booking tickets for airlines and hostels and buses and such for our many excursions around europe.
November: i've hit a lull in the uber-paper writing that i've been doing recently, which is nice.
December: i have just just finished my caribbean writing presentation that was oddly reminiscent of dragging a mule carcass through the La Brea tar pits

i like it how my new year's resolution was completely and utterly shot to shit. well, i made it a while before i started updating every other week...every third week...once a month...yeah.

i have less than a week left here in the uk. five days really. five more days of fun accents. five more days of going to school at a castle, of walking tne minutes to class and having cars pass you on the wrong side of the road, of drunk friends singing welsh nationalist anthems in the stairwells, of football in the mud on sundays, of roast dinners, fish and chips, bangers and mash, yorkshire puddings, donner kebabs, chicken tikka sandwiches, brie and bacon paninis, blackcurrant juice, cigarette smoke everywhere, fashionable dress, laid back classes, kronenbourg and john smiths and jamesons and fosters and pedigree and guinness, nights at revolution and two for one cocktails and propaganda every thursday.

i don't want to go back. but i kind of do.

five days. phreeeeow.

Light a torch

this belongs in capital letters [04 Dec 2006|11:13pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]
[ music | three doors--vast ]

i have just just finished my caribbean writing presentation that was oddly reminiscent of dragging a mule carcass through the La Brea tar pits. moving very slowly...

and now, i will write my big long huge ranty thing that i've been slowly working up to over the past month.

Everyone says, "go study abroad, it will change you!" They say it so much it becomes something you accept passively, something you just mutter and go, "oh yeah, that's why I'm studying abroad. change, expand my horizons, see the world, blah blah blah." I call it application essay fodder for the PC and poetical licensed people, bullshit for the rest. My application essay was pretty much, "i'm an english major, i should go to the country where my entire field of study originated. oh, and i want my horizons expanded. the end." Sue me, I padded my essay.

I will come back to that topic. First let me talk about Messiah. Many of you will remember fiascos involving mothers and colleges that ended up with me saying I would transfer out of Messiah within a semester because I would be stifled by neo-conservative Christianese and me blindly shouting I was an atheist because it was nothing more than a rebellion against my fate and the logical assumption that if I didn't want to be at a Christian college I shouldn't be a Christian. Of course, I stayed at Messiah partially due to the fact that it wasn't as stifling as I thought it would be but mostly due to the fact that I bonded with so many people rather quickly that now are a second family to me and I couldn't bear to part with them. It would be betrayal.

Now, to England. England is not Messiah. England is drunk, rowdy, sexually perverse, and clouded with cigarette smoke. Mostly, nobody is a Christian. Maybe three people. Nobody else.

How does this all fit together? Let me step back a bit to high school. High school was sheep mentality. Sure, I had views on things. They were what nobody else was thinking. Define yourself by the counter-culture, accept the propoganda because it was attractive, follow the other line of lemmings but both end up drowning in the end.

This has all changed. I am ready. I know what I believe. I know why I believe it. Never in my life have I looked forward with such clarity, never have I been so at peace with the world because it all fell into place with surprising simplicity. No, I wasn't saved. I read "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins.

I had always debated religion. I have always been "meh-ish" in church, always only mouthing the words the rest of the congregation is singing, but inside I wrote it off as the perpetual state of tiredness I live in. Oh, I'm just sleepy today. I can't be bothered to sing, to pay attention during the sermon. Blah. At Messiah, I said that conservative Christian culture would squash my creative writing, that I would be turned into a Jesus-propoganda machine, cranking out texts thinly veiled as Jehovah Witness speeches. When that didn't happen I had to find another reason to deny God without actually denying it entirely. But I couldn't find one so I lived in this state of I-won't-talk-about-religion-ever because I couldn't back up my beliefs. Because I was afraid of looking stupid for being like "well, i just don't know, and that's that." I was incoherent.

Now, I feel clear. I am ready. I am ready to tell Messiah, tell my friends, tell my family, yes, even my parents. I have only felt this way once, felt this urge to shout something from a mountaintop, but that's a different story. I am an atheist.

If you want to debate this, want to discuss how your own religious views are different, I will be more than happy for once. Where I once shied away from debates because it was nothing but me cowering under indecision, now I will meet you head on. Like Descartes, I have found my basic principle, I have found that I think, therefore I am. The rest can follow.

It continues. From here, I have reinvented my ethics. I have researched and found why I ascribe to Libertarian ideals, which I will debate as well. I have found why I hate Post-Modernism, why I believe in Kant's Categorical Imperatives. I want to read everything, I want to travel everywhere, experience whatever doesn't kill me because this is life here, not some hazy all-too-human hope that there is something after death. Life is rushed, life is finite, so I want to see what I can, fill my mind with the brilliance of all humanity, leave my words carved in the tradition so I will at least live on in that regard, so when I sleep endlessly they will not forget me entirely. I am awakened now, I am ready. I have been writing like mad, reading what I can lay my hands on, talking to everyone I can. I always though "England will change you" was another tagline they added on the study abroad program, but it is truth. Absolute truth. I guess I was saved. A born-again atheist.

1 crazed torch-weilding rebel| Light a torch

[20 Nov 2006|11:47pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

hey, here's a nice rule for people throwing parties to abide by:

If you decide to throw a house party and invite a whole bunch of people to come over, you CANNOT, repeat, CANNOT decide two hours after your party has started to leave and go clubbing instead. ESPECIALLY if you know that other people are coming by later after hitting up a chill vodka lounge nearby. You cannot then call said group of people who are on their way to the party that YOU said was happening and be all "Oh, I'm sorry, we decided to go clubbing instead. Hope you brought enough money and proper clubbing clothes, because otherwise your night is SCREWED."

fucking wanker.

in other news, turkey day is rapidly approaching. which, oddly enough, i am seriously looking forward to. usually, i'm like "yay turkey. what better way to celebrate america than eat more food than several african countries, then sit on our couches and watch steroid pumped men beat the shit out of each other?" except that this year i'm in england, so we're going to be the only ones celebrating thanksgiving in the entire country. that and i'm not celebrating thanksgiving with my family. instead of a bunch of old people playing party games and nobody else my age, it's thirty kids my age and maybe two adults. which is a much better ratio. except that i don't think we're going to have enough food.

oh, and after thanksgiving i'm going to venice. sweet deal.

Light a torch

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